There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
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So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
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We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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