i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize