There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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