garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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