My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize