There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wish I only lived at night.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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