The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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