Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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