Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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