Sponge bath it is.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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