I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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