i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize