He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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