I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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