I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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