omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize