I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize