I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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