I wish I could punch you in the face.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize