So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I AM VODKA MAN
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize