i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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