Buhtt sex?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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