you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
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I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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