He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
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dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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