I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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