best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
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I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
where are my eyebrows?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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