And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize