Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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