but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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