Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
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I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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