Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
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My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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