Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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