what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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