bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize