Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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