i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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