There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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