I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize