the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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