i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize