i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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