I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize