$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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