Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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