I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
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i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
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also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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