Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
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Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
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Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
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