im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize