Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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