well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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