I'm going to jail i love you
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize